Well if it hasn't been about a minute. Admist the prep brain leveling my mental capacity to that of a... Ironically, I've just sat here for 3 minutes thinking about what to compare my inability to muster a suitable metaphor to but the fact therein is metaphorical in itself.
I digress.
The prep brain in conjunction with moving homes and working with my growing repertoire of kick ass clients, has left me with the creative prowess of a rock.
Hellas, I am back.
I don't feel any less hungry or more mentally apt to do this but frankly I miss it and something's been bothering me.
Besides, I'm tired of packing shit away and this is work technically, so I can't be called a lazy ass by my girlfriend if I do this instead.
So here it is.
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD, STOP TRYING TO MICRO MANAGE EVERY FUCKING THING.
I see this happen in all areas of life and while I'd hate to sit here and disect every one of those... No that is not a typo, I legitimately would hate it. I will instead focus on the fitness aspect of it which I hate marginally less.
I understand the appeal of wanting to be on the cutting edge of this fiasco but more often than not, when trying to make something already great, better, you run the risk of turning it into a steamy pile of excrement without even realising that you did and fall right off of that edge with the grace of Biden on a staircase.
Training and dieting are simple and require no butchering at all to produce fine results. Yet, the two are perpetually treated with the regard of a new fish in Polsmoor, until they, very much like said new fish, are nothing more but a gaping orifice of despair.
The constant violation of these two by every day folk come from no other than our blatant inability, as humans, to detach ourselves emotionally from everything that we do.
I am by no means implying that you ought to hate every aspect of dieting and training but ultimately it will come down to a single thing.
How badly do you want it?
If your goal is z and you are worried about the entire fucking alphabet then you my friend, need to become an English teacher or a librarian but competitive sport, bar scrabble, is probably not in your lane.
Take GVT or German Volume Training.
10 sets of 10 reps of a compound movement with focus on progressive overload. Done.
A dislexic chimp could follow this effectively but no, not you. You think it's too boring, too easy and that it won't work.
Yet it's been used effectively by athletes for decades. Hell, it's German and those dudes are efficient and make nothing easy. Just ask the Jews.
Dieting as a concept baffles me.
Second to breathing, your diet is pretty much up there when it comes to staying alive and yet the general disinformation about it is nightmare inducing.
What is a calorie? Crickets...
"Is a potato, carbs?"... FUCK!
Nobody is asking you to be Layne Norton here but at least pay a bit of attention as to what it is that you are putting into yourself. Even if you're a fat fuck with zero intention to change.
I know that tren will likely kill me one day and you don't see me waving it away for a multivitamin and a kombucha but I sure as hell know what it is and whose toilet bowl it came from.
This absolute lack of dieting knack, is precisely why you ought to take a step back and adhere to a diet that is easy to follow and prep.
I will, in the following post, show you exactly how I set up a diet plan. It's simple and more importantly, it's important to note that every figure is within a ballpark. The food that I log on my app and the one that you eat will never have exactly mimicking macronutrient ratios due to a plethora of descripancies from how it was raised/grown to how and how long it was cooked for. In other words, having 127g of chicken tits exactly 13 minutes past 3pm is only going to do one thing; be a gargantuan pain in your ass.
Instead, find a plan worthy of the name, that allows you to eat a reasonable amount of meals; say 4 to 6. Make sure they're easy to prep and that they make sense. The rest will follow suit.
I'd like to finish this off with a dip in the urine filled kiddies pool that is, for the vast majority of you; some very piss poor protocols.
Both anabolic and ancillary.
I can appreciate that utmost care is put into ensuring that every "i" is dotted and "t" is crossed when it comes to any form of suppementation but keeping it simple will ensure that you do not shit the bed on a regular basis and ultimately make what you were trying to avoid, seem like child's play in comparison to the rollercoaster that you are now putting your endocrine system under.
I will stem very far away from telling anyone what and how to take it on here, after all this is for entertainment purposes only but remember; the easier it is to follow, the harder it is to fuck up.
The amount of knowledge that you possess in these respective fields will dictate by just how much you ought to play with them. With that said, I guarantee you that many of you will be shocked at the simplicity of the plans that some of the greatest coaches advocate; because they, like myself, have learnt that more is not always better.
Moral of the story; The Achilles heel of best, is better.
Jezz the mech, out.